I ate there so that you don't have to! - Jolene Bakery & Restaurant London - Kaufe eine Reservierung
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🤮 1/5 - I ate there so that you don't have to!
By 👻 @JanneAlice, 08/28/2022 3:00 am
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Where to start? £80 for four 'SMALL' plates and two small glasses of house wine. If you're over 30 it's unlikely that you'll fall for the hype. £9 for a serving of 'Fresh Salad' on a tea plate; bitter green leaves, drowning in 'mustard' dressing, with way too much mustard. Sourdough bread which tasted inexplicably of aftershave?? The lamb pappardelle was watery and so over-salted that it was practically inedible. 'Trout with cucumber and leeks', as advertised on the board at £23, turned out to be a very small fillet of salmon trout with 4 cubes of raw cucumber and a couple of 1" rings of cooked leeks. Unexciting is an understatement. Following the pappardelle, we waited just over 15 minutes for the trout; no offer of clean plates on which to eat the fish, given that our tea plates were sodden with watery meat juices from the lamb pasta - train your staff! Other gripes: when you book you'll be told that there will be a charge of £30 per person on the card you booked with if you don't turn up. I arrived bang on time, only to be told that there was a staff meeting and I was to wait outside until summoned. After 10 minutes I ventured back inside, having not been summoned, only then was I led to my table. Sharing tables - NOBODY likes this! Maximum profit for the restaurant, minimum privacy/intimacy for the diner. The cafe was less than half full when I was there, yet a couple was plonked next to me and my fellow diner for no plausible reason. A service charge of 12.5% is automatically added to your bill, which always ruffles my feathers, surely a tip is meant to be a gratuity that you bestow upon your server in recognition of good service - not an assumption of the restaurant owner who decides that the customer will subsidise his employees' wages. Turns out that Jolene was conceived by the very same restaurateurs who came up with Primeur. When that first opened in Petherton Road, I went in person to make a booking (only due to nostalgia, as I'd rented the second-floor flat for several years as a student in the early 80s). They refused to take the booking - declaring that I had to tweet them if I wanted a table for 4 the following evening. Needless to say, I really couldn't be bothered!
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